do you think of where i am?/will i forgive me for holding it together?

/ When I crave cigarettes, I climb up to the very top of my lungs and scream at you in silence

You make me want to cut out my tongue

But I was never a fearless child, somehow I know you had something to do with that

Now I’m no longer a child I’m almost something else

I’ve outgrown hide and seek, now I screech at you with gin and drugs and a bleeding beak
Though I was never a flightless bird

I still keep myself grounded in the house I have trapped myself in

Still juggling my dreams and my days within my loose change brain
It was never meant to be this hard
but didn't I make this room an echo chamber screaming

"I didn’t choose this"/